Finally Here (Late Post)

So here it is. Senior year. Super special right? Yeah, it's kind of a big deal. This is the year that is suppose to cap off the 4 year shindig called "high school". Everybody has all these plans for how they want theirs to go. Most plan to do things totally different than the 3 previous years. It's an easy enough idea. Makes sense to change things up the last go round if you want a different outcome than before. I know do. My last 3 years if high school were a roller coaster. From being on top of everything to breaking down to my lowest ever to being confused every single day. So to prevent tragedy within myself from happening, I will be more attentive to my own feelings this time. I have a big heart for people. I probably care too much about certain people who probably only see me as another human. So I often fall victim to settling when I'm not fully satisfied. In some cases that's okay but it should happen less. My senior needs to be my relief year. I want to have fun working toward my goals and dreams. I want to enjoy this year to full out extent. I want to do more things my way. Senior year will be my year. I'll laugh when it's funny and cry when it's necessary. I'll love at all times and give when needed. I'll smile when it's real and respect when deserved. I will leave Vidalia High School better than when I entered. Bet.

Being More Than>

I was blessed with an opportunity to attend the National Student Leadership Conference on Journalism, Film, & Media Arts a few weeks ago and I can still feel the excitement. It was a 10-day campus stay at American University in Washington DC where I learned a lot about sports writing/broadcasting (the specific class I took), the amazing world of the communications field, different kids who are just like me, and surprisingly, myself. My mind set prior to the actual start day (June 15th, a day I longed for so desperately) was very optimistic. I didn't expect much more than a great time. The only thing I thought to specifically expect was freedom. A leash that wasn't held so tight. To be completely honest, I was just overly excited to leave home for a while. I love being me but sometimes "me" isn't always allowed under certain circumstances here in hometown Vidalia. There's a status quo and no there isn't a big lunch room musical number screaming at students to follow it. There are still air-quoted rules that are to be followed. Athletes typically hang with athletes and within that specific sport. Band members with band members. Gothic kids lurk together. Weave heads stay close and fuss just the same. There are groups, cliques, and squads that naturally formulate in high school and as much as administration preaches to include everyone, there are levels of power. Here in Vidalia, if you wear a jersey for the right sport, you've got power. I've been in that category for most of my school career. My only set back is that I play 'girls' basketball and not 'boys'. A lot less hype but whatever. The fact still stands that most people couldn't care less about a student if they aren't sweating in uniform with Vidalia stitched across it. And even more so if they're losing.

 I see myself as valuable to this school. I really feel like I make/can make a difference here. But does it matter that the differences made aren't on the basketball court? Gee, I hope so. While in DC  I was received very well by my fellow Commies (just now realizing that that term is used to label Communist. Yikes!). We all bonded quickly and I'm in contact with many of them to this day. I now have unforgettable memories that I'll cherish forever. But the experience I value far more than any other was the reception of my talents. The kids I stayed with for 2 weeks couldn't care less that I was a skilled athlete and future college basketball player. What mattered to them about me was my heart, compassion, adventurous nature, and, personal favorite, artistic talents. They loved that I could sing. They admired my dancing skills which not many people know I can do. They were amazed at my song writing ability. They enjoyed my sense of humor. They respected my knowledge and leadership vision. My overall presence was welcomed and I left that program feeling way more accomplished than I had ever felt in a basketball uniform. I love being an athlete. I've been blessed with the ability to do great things on the court. But for once I'd love to acknowledged for all the other things I'm good at. I want to matter even when I'm not scoring 2 points. The NSLC program really opened my eyes and gave me the confidence to showcase my talents without fear of rejection. I'm always going to be an athlete but now I'm positive that I am more than just that.

The Bubbles

So I took the SAT for the first time Saturday morning (June 7). Yeah, I know. I should have taken it sooner but....whatever. So anyway, at approximately 7:45 that morning, I, along with several of my very own classmates, embarked on the journey known as the SAT (I've actually learned that "SAT" is an empty acronym. Hmm, who knew?). The event began with almost every student being unable to locate the actual testing building (resolved by Taylor F.) and a precious kitten that followed us into the building (also later resolved by Taylor F.).
We entered a small classroom and did exactly what we do in school-sat by the people we knew. My best friend was actually with me which made the experience less tense. As we all got settled in and caught up with each other's summers so far, our SAT administer came in looking like Mr. Ikner. Since only one other student wasn't from VHS, we all had to do a double take. So Fakner (Fake Ikner) began to read the instructions and hand out the testing materials. As I examined my test booklet, I noticed how not different it looked from all of the other standardized tests I've taken. My nervousness died down and I became even more relaxed than I was before. We were given our answer sheets and began filling out the informational sections on the front. I absolutely adore bubbling in this part of the answer sheets we test with. I can't pinpoint exactly why but I get a little excited when we are required to do so. As we were moving from section one, I noticed the biggest difference of the whole SAT test. There was no race section. There was not an area to identify my race and ethnicity and it got my attention. Since the beginning of my school testing years, I've always had to bubble in "Black/African American" and to me it was a small act of pride. I take great pride in my heritage and not being able to claim it as I have always done struck me for a moment. We all know that your race is used to make statistics off of test scores within certain races. I immediately remembered that that information was entered online when registering for the test. Still, the realization of not doing what makes me proud the most is irrelevant to SAT until test scores come back. It was a notable experience for me. Small but notable.

Camp Days

On an early Saturday morning, my siblings and I attended the 6th Annual Natalie White Basketball Camp for the first time. Ms. Natalie played with my mom in high school and is a very good friend of my mother. The camp started on a great note with an intense Nae Nae battle between me and a 7 year old. I of course lost to his undeniable cuteness. Oh well. Still an interesting start to an amazing 3-day camp. I learned so many new skills and drills and even got some college advice. Not much I didn't already know but to have an immensely accomplished woman such as Ms. Natalie talking to us was so inspirational. She's turned herself into a resourceful business woman with connections all throughout the world of basketball. She's even helping gain some leverage with the FAMU coach. Her jersey number is hanging up in the stadium and she gave the Rattlers the greatest four years a women's basketball player ever has at the school. She set records! Having her on my side is a tremendous blessing and I plan to utilize this connection to benefit her and myself in the upcoming years.

Volunteering

My siblings and I helped out at a food bank at a local church today and what an experience. I have volunteered at numerous events so this was nothing new for me. My younger brother and sister on the other hand have never really done any volunteering when physical labor was involved. Our job was to assist people with carrying the food bags to their cars/trucks. It was hot, the people being assisted were slow, and our time there interrupted lunch. I was worried for their attention span and cooperation. I just knew after about 30 minutes both would be whining and crying and complaining. But to my absolute surprise, neither once uttered a word of discomfort. All 3 of us were a little aggravated when our mother told us we had to go and especially me since I'd be going immediately after basketball practice this morning. They were there a few minutes before I was and upon my arrival, they were already taking some bags to an old lady's trunk.  I am very proud of my little babies. They worked hard and fought through the heat and piercing smell of old people (Yes. That is a patented smell). At the end of our shift, we were rewarded with food bags of our own and the satisfaction of knowing we were a big help to the people running the drive. Again, I am proud of them. Who would've thought a 12-year-old boy and 9-year-old girl would find today so fun?

It *Is Summer Right?

All week I've been dealing with energetic,whiny, crying, complaining kids and every afternoon I come home to an even more sophisticated yelling. I don't get it. It's summer! It's like as soon as the final school bell rang the clamps got tighter. The whip has been cracked and the sweat on my brow comes from no solar source. The only peace I've gotten is when I'm asleep. And I've been doing a lot of that. I think my body is trying to recover from all of those super late nights of school work I went through throughout the year. My sleep pattern will hopefully get back on track in the coming weeks. Even today I was forced to leave the house before 9am. When will my lazy days begin???? Well, this summer won't have many of those anyway. This is my grind summer. The summer prior to my senior year of high school. I'll be putting in major work to prepare myself for the school year. Athletically and academically. Basketball training, tournaments, workouts, college recruiters, summer ball. SAT tests, AP Lang summer work, my NSLC Journalism trip (you guys will hear about that in my next couple posts), USA test prep stuff, and some vacation time on the beach or just rest from everything. This summer will be one to remember. I wanna do the things I wanna do. The things I've dreamed about since middle school. But when will it begin??? Soon. Very, very soon!

This One's For You

So the school year is officially ending tonight and I want to point out a few things before the caps are thrown in  the air. I thought nothing could top the things I went through last school year but this year has been one heck of a whirlwind. Until further notice, my junior year will be the most memorable. So shout to the 2013-2014 school year. This one's for you.

Shout out to the first day of school. I really did miss seeing these people over the summer. Well, some of them. Others...eh. Shout out to my lunch table and all of its color. Shout out to the friend zone. I met you for the first time and what a humble meeting it was. Shout out to exes. They're really good at complicating things. Shout out to my 2nd period. Thank God I registered for it a week before school started. Shout out to the 1st semester of weightlifting. I got to meet some important people and be reintroduced to people I thought I knew. Shout out to my 1st period. God bless you Mr. Harn. Shout out to Harvey's Supermarket. I truly miss the paycheck. But not the checkout line. Shout out to basketball season. You always come through for me. Shout out to my teammates this year. SO much better than last year's. Shout out to my lyric book. You harbor a lot of my emotions. Mostly the ones I must keep to myself. Shout out to my left knee. You've failed me numerous times but I still desperately need you. Shout out to the game. I really believe I have some. Another shout out to the friend zone. You quickly acquired some new victims. Shout out to trust. We've got some serious issues. Shout out to unrequited love. So unforgiving. Shout out to Mr. Henry. He really has no idea. Shout out to prom. Everything that happened was completely predictable for me. Except the dancing. That was disappointingly bad. Shout out to the 2nd semester of weightlifting. How I dreaded you some days. Shout out to 2nd lunch. You were a blessing and a curse. Shout out to my parents for getting me a car. Shout out to my car for just being my car. Shout out to my best friend. I'm so glad you're my best friend. We've been through so much mess and we've pretty much laughed all the way through it all. I love you B! Shout out to the class of 2014. I don't even know where to begin with you guys. I need a separate post for y'all. But I can say that you will be remembered. Each and every one I came in contact with. Shout out to graduation night. The weather was perfect, the seating was superb, Mrs. Ikner and I got our surprise, and hands were kept to themselves. Shout out to Mrs. Ikner. Thank you. Shout out to my junior year. Every celebration, every tear, every argument, every moment of extreme laughter, every hello, every goodbye, every mistake, every lesson, every victory, every defeat, everything was all worth it. Shout out to my upcoming senior year. This next one's for you.

Minority

This was my exam for AP Lit this semester and I'm pretty sure I made a 100. What do you think? Youtube Link: Minority

Yes!

So I just completed my junior year. *fist pump*

Ashton Happy

Names are very special things. They are under-appreciated and not fully recognized for their importance. A name holds the reputation of the owner. When a name is spoken, everything associated with the person comes tagging along with it. Sometimes good. Sometimes bad. But a name never fails to strike interest from others who know of the name or have heard it before. Family, friends, acquaintances, and enemies all feel a certain connection to a name. From past interactions, presents relationships, and future expectations, people have a sense of entitlement to our names. Entitlement can often be mistaken and wrongly assumed. All because of everything that comes with a name. A family history, an ignorant stereotype, a legit stereotype, a shaky past, a pleasant existence, or a simple sense of being can come with a name.

Our parents go through 9 months of decision making, family members' selfish opinions, and semi-heated arguments to give their child the perfect name. And with their choice, that child now wears an invisible label of something most likely stupid and inaccurate about their coming personality. I sometimes wish I could have been given a chance to change my name at a rather intelligent age in my youth, like 12. I wonder what my seventh grade self would have decided. Well my 17-year-old, rising senior self would change my name to Ashton Happy. It's British. It was randomly generated from a website that my teacher also randomly found. I liked it. She liked it. I now love it. So call me Ashton Happy. It'd make me so glad.

Woww

For the Better by Cham

Make it sound how you want it to....

My peace is coming now. I've let too many people down

It seems my old friends are still around.

But when the truth is needed, they don't make a sound.

Why must I go through so much pain? 

Although I know I'm not the only one feeling the rain

Protectors of my soul try to stay sane. 

They say the truth is needed but what then will I gain?

Someone's changed. We all change for the better. For the better (2x)

My time is coming soon

Going through phases as if I'm the moon

Much valued room...changing so soon

Some wait to get rich. I just sing all afternoon

  Why must I go through so much pain? 

Although I know I'm not the only one feeling the rain

Protectors of my soul try to stay sane. 

They say the truth is needed but what then will I gain?

Someone's changed. We all change for the better. For the better (2x)

Has love been kind to me? Love will soon find me. In good time I'll be okay, okay (2x)

Someone's changed. We all change for the better. For the better (2x)

Where's the Fun in Forever?

Listen first. Read second.

Link: Where's the Fun in Forever-Miguel

Did you listen to the lyrics carefully? Did you hear the meaning in his words? Just let them sink in.

My senior year is getting closer and closer everyday. Planning for post-high school is becoming a daily task. It seems like everything I do has something to do with college; whether athletically or academically. Soon I'll be applying to colleges, taking the SAT multiple times, taking more college visits, talking to recruiters, and shaping myself into a college student-athlete. My future is approaching. And so is the end of all innocence. Tomorrow is another day I am to be maturer and more aware of the world and its problem. Tomorrow is another day that I must let go of some childish things and grow closer to the adult world. But as Miguel repeatedly inquired, where is the fun in that? Where is the joy in constantly knowing that soon this fun will end and we won't get to be as free even in a life of ultimate freedom? I am anxious for the future. Indeed I am. But I become saddened at times by the fact that the world I am being prepared for is so serious and heartless and selfish. High school has its moments of brutality but I've grown with these kids and have gotten to know these kids. We've been through a lot together. And at this time next year, we will be going in separate directions and taking different paths and becoming citizens of the real world in numerous ways. But what's so great about forever? You nor I will ever see it. Right? It never...ends. There are ends to all beginnings, right? So why is forever so important? It's like the number of licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop. The world may never know.

Growing Up

Today I got to enjoy the company of some very energetic 2nd & 3rd graders at their annual sock hop. I've become an NHS favorite when it comes to this dance and I definitely have a good time. I like to be around all of the fun they have at their age. So pure, so innocent, so simple. My peers don't really have a chance to have fun like that anymore. Everything changes when you become a teenager. We all know that. Our innocence fades away with each year in our first tastes of freedom. When we're in the 2nd and 3rd grade, we find a job that looks like "fun" and immediately state the common phrase "I wanna be a ____ when I grow up!", never once thinking that it won't turn out that way. As a little kid, your vision of the future only goes so far. But as we grow, experience and learn, our eyes see a lot more to work with when thinking of the future.

So I wonder....when will we be finished growing up? Is there like a certificate or phone notification I'll get years from now saying something like "Congratulations! You've completed __ years of life and are now considered 'Grown'. Way to grow up Chambria!"? Hmmm....doubt it. Yeah, every age after 18 is looked at as an adult age but no one stops growing. Everyone grows in some way. Hopefully in the positive direction of up but growth still. Teachers will always teach and students will always learn. We all are both so growth within ourselves and others is unavoidable. Those are one of the few things that humans are guaranteed to do: teach and learn: whether with purpose or accidentally. It just always happens. In billions of ways, methods, forms, situations, experiences, etc. Growth is indeed inevitable. So when I grow up, I want to be a growing, living, loving, learning, and laughing Chambria.

Woww

Hey there Monday!

Monday is often misunderstood as a super sluggish day that begins a week of not so exciting things like school or work. But I see Monday as a day of new beginnings. Too deep? Well a lot can happen on a Monday to make it lose it's reputation of being "bleh". You could find a dollar in the school parking lot. You could get offered candy and delicious marshmallow birds. You could see the quietest confrontation unfold before your eyes. You could hug someone and feel great about it. You could do so much on a Monday to set your week off right. It seems every day of the week has its own feeling. Except Tuesday. No one ever says "It feels like a Tuesday." Many say "Ah man. It's only Tuesday" but never the former.

Mondays are great days. So stop bad mouthing them. They deserve love just like that hotshot Friday. No, Monday doesn't have a catchy song by Rebecca Black but it is necessary for Friday to happen. Monday is to Friday what Beyonce is to Kelly Rowland....even though everybody likes Beyonce so much more but you get my point. One didn't/can't happen without the other. So buckle down and get ya Monday on! You only get one a week. Do something with it. 

Freedom

Life is valuable. I feel we won't know to what measure until it is almost taken. That doesn't necessarily mean your physical life. Our spiritual, emotional, and mental lives are equally valuable if not more sometimes. Well....I'll just stick to equal. But if you can't believe, feel, or think, why live? That's what "they" say living is right? That's why there's Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Vine, Google+ and even this blogging site; so we can do all those things in front of hundreds, thousands, even millions. We as humans need to know we have the freedom to express what ever we want exactly how we want. Why? Well why is not a useful question. (And I've actually figured out the logic behind this statement. "Why?" only leads to "Because..." which leads to another "Why?" and soon becoming an endless cycle. So it kinda makes sense)

Who cares about the 30 year old who just opened up his own print shop and can't wait to post photos of his products on Instagram? 

Who cares about the 21 year old college student who is tweeting about eating Menchies while out with her new friends she met in freshman English? 

Who cares about the 17 year old high school student posting about how she is still battling her emotions and desperately searching for herself in places not so easy to see?

Doesn't matter who cares. They all have the freedom to let anyone know about whatever it is because society has almost made it a requirement.  No one person can deny freedom of another to the complete and full extent. If using social media or not, we all have a freedom, that freedom, some freedom, the freedom to just be.

Woww

So I'm here now...

I have always thought of blogs as something cat ladies write/read and nerdy scholars with aspirations to be marine biologist find interesting. But I suppose this is kinda cool. A place to vent the never ending frustrations of my life. A place to share my thoughts and feelings and no one can tell me not to. A place to be angry, sad, happy, disappointed, excited, hungry, annoying, and questioning. Sounds like a social media site. But this is different. How? Not sure yet but you can find out with me if you'd like.

Woww